Fifty Shades of Grey: Book Review by Asha Seth

Okay, Point no. 1: Do not run behind books based on the hype around you. That’s the first lesson I learnt. For some goddamn reason, everywhere around me I just saw Fifty Shades. In trains, buses, at work, with friends, around strangers it was just talks about Fifty Shades. I guess I must have absolutely lost it, when I started reading this one dropping everything else.

Saying that I hated the book would be an understatement and injustice to my feelings toward this book. Well, let me think, there are so many reasons for this attitude.

Point no. 2: It is nothing but Twilight in disguise. Might as well, call it Twilight by E L James. Okay, so not all of it but almost all through the book I kept shouting ‘There she goes with another Twilight thing’. With the stay-away-theory, multiple-dissolved-marriages, breathtakingly-handsome-male-protagonist, less-than-average-female-protagonist, baseball-golf-lovers, etc. etc. etc. You are bound to turn back to the cover to check again whether you picked up ‘Twilight’ or ‘Fifty Shades’.

Everything you read replicates with instances in Twilight.
So, in brief, the story revolves around the ever-so-queer-but-rich-wealthy-CEO of Grey Enterprises Christian Grey who is adopted by a Grey couple and has faced a tough life not to forget that he is molested by her mother’s friend in earlier years of his life that turns him in E L James’ term mysterious, complicated, closed, stringent, not to forget his queer sexual desires and tastes.

fifty shades of grey
Image Credit: Goodreads

Well, the start itself was a total turn-off. Now, what kind of girl has ‘Anastasia’ for a name? Sounded like one of those Pharmaceutical products I studied in my academics during graduation year. Apart from the weird name, there is no description about her character, looks etc. but definitely loads about the male protagonist Grey. Now, this for a person like me is important as I like to imagine what the main characters in the book look like. E L James seems to be very fond of Christian Grey and keeps harping upon ‘how hot’ or ‘how yummy’ he looks! Gross! Would’ve loved to hear some about ‘Anastasia’ too.

Grey keeps asking Anastasia to stay away and uses similar statements which to my surprise are probably just a copy-paste effort from Stephanie Meyer‘s Twilight as you might agree when you’ve tortured yourself through the shitty 250 odd pages.
All through the story, I couldn’t just bring myself to fall in love with either Grey or Ana(short for Anastasia). Phew! Was there anything to like about them?

Grey is a weird disciplinarian with weird desires for sex out of his sexual experience with his mother’s friend (his molester who he keeps calling a close friend all through the story). E L James has actually driven herself through a hell lot of a pain and expects the readers as well to go through the same while she introduces terms like ‘Submissive’ & ‘Dominant’. They are her terms to describe the kind of sexual assault the person has to suffer who agrees to be a submissive(Anastasia, in this case)for pleasure with the dominant(Grey, in this case) by consenting upon a contract. I couldn’t believe my eyes and heart when I actually read through the all-shit-and-dung contract E L James has introduced.

All, I remember about the book is the various places, various ways and various forms in which Grey keeps traumatizing Anastasia sexually(not that she minds in the least as she is all head over heals with his looks and wealth). I wanted to yell, bash and hit her just like Grey did at numerous instances but for some good sensible reasons. Is her self-respect and self-dignity totally dead? First, she is not organized mentally and keeps enduring him all through the book which is utter disgusting. I actually wanted to throw up at her.

Well, I know it is damn easy to criticize something and equally difficult to appraise. But, quite honestly, I believe and ask myself “Was there one-thing I liked about the loads of shit in there?” I guess not.

One-thing I would definitely recommend, E L James should be awarded with a Nobel Prize for the number of times she has used ‘Holy-shit’ or ‘Holy-crap’ or ‘Holy-cow’ or Jeez’ and Anastasia should be awarded one for the number of times she flushes and bites her lower lip. Boy, I could count them which was more than a hundred times I am sure. And I definitely deserve one for managing sound and sane through all the BDSM crap. Just not my type or taste!

Well, I couldn’t put the book down and read through day and night alike screwing my sleep as I couldn’t wait to finish the crap-load and start with something worth my time. I am absolutely happy to have managed to get it off my hands in a day’s time. Equally reluctant and skeptical about reading the other 2 books in the trilogy.

Recommended to those who haven’t read tooth-grinding shit in a long long time and have a hell lot of time to waste. In other words, to no-one.

Well, that’s my take on the book. Read for yourself to judge it better and don’t forget to write a review. I would love to read your review and know how you liked it.

©The Musing Quill

 

29 thoughts on “Fifty Shades of Grey: Book Review by Asha Seth

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  1. I would just like to add that now the word ‘flush’ has no meaning to me and every time I read it being used correctly in a book, all I can think of is this drivel. Talk about low vocabulary.

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  2. Oh, forgot to say thank you for stopping by my page. It was more of your time spent… I do appreciate it. I’m sure you’ve figured out by now that my blog is primarily therapy for my emotional journey of having had breast cancer. The emotional scars are just as bad as the physical. Not to mention it really screws with my ability to focus for long periods of time… Obvious on my blog..LOL. But I do thank you for your time!

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    1. Dear Keli,

      I guess I am one of those lucky lot who accidentally stumbled across your beautiful blog. And yes I was caught by the intense emotions accompanying your posts. I intend to keep coming every second that I can and add brightness to your days if I can.

      As you rightly said, emotional scars are hell lots painful to endure than the physical ones. A good work is what you are doing here and keep doing it. God bless you.

      -Asha

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  3. I haven’t red it yet… and really just don’t intend to. I thought I was just being lazy, but I can’t stand wasting what little reading time I have on something I find boring… I do have a friend though who wanted to know about it, so I’ll try to direct her to your review. 😀

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  4. I haven’t read it and don’t really want too. I did enjoy “Twilight” but Meyer is just an ok writer, I preferred Anne Rice in the vampire genre. Did you review “The Hunger Games?” because I would be interested in reading that.

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    1. Dear bluebutterfliesandme,
      I did really like TWILIGHT myself but just the first book in the series. Meyer’s writing just didn’t do for me to be on all fours unlike Rowling’s. But still is comparatively better than ‘FIFTY-SHIT’.

      I read The Hunger Games a while back. Review is still to come. Will write sooner.

      So good to see you here. Keep coming.
      -Asha

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  5. I haven’t read it and won’t. The book sounded like trash and after reading your synopsis, it sounds like nuclear waste. If you want a good book that sounds similar to this title, it is Between Shades of Gray by Ruta Sepyts (or something like that; I might have spelled her name wrong).

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  6. I’m so ashamed to have read it. It was kind of like a morbid fascination. But agreed, there were so many things wrong with it. E.L. James is NOT a good writer at all. It started as twilight fanfiction and should have stayed that way. It really pisses me off that she’s making SO MUCH money because of all the people who are obsessed with this piece of shit!

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    1. Couldn’t have agreed more with you dear Lily. But quite honestly, the 2nd book is a little less disappointing to watch the characters grow. Not that it reduces the pain inflicted on my pea-sized brain by the shitty first book. Still.

      Keep coming 🙂
      -Asha

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  7. Well, I am always skeptical about hyped up best sellers. I didn’t touch 50 Shades, Twilight, Hunger Games, or Chetan Bhagat. I then sampled ‘Two States’ and dropped it after 10 pages, my skepticism further strengthened. “Is this what India is reading?” I asked on FB, and found that I was not alone.

    I like to discover new authors and refreshing writing, but my tastes appear to be very different from the what is popular.. Its no wonder I am not a Bollywood fan either.

    But then, I discovered reading pleasure in the works of Amitav Ghosh and Anuradha Roy. I am optimistic that I will discover more good authors.

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  8. I haven’t read this book and not going to read it… But one thing I don’t like is your negative review…

    I know, when we don’t like some kind of book, then we put negative review.. If you check about “Fifth Shades of Grey”, it falls under erotic fiction (though its loosely connected as per some reviewer).. How can you expect something interesting and literature fiction in that? Don’t you think that way?

    I have read some good reviews by some reviewers (some gave 4 out of 5) because they think, “Fifth Shades of Grey” is far better than other books in this genre.

    Anyway, This my personal view 🙂

    I think, I took good decision for not picking up the book. If I had read the book. I may end up with same review as you did :).

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    1. Dear shahujvaln,

      Thank you for your thoughts and more so for stopping by. It is not the content that I resented but the style of writing that I thought was annoyingly repetitive. Also the fact that it seems hell lot of inspired by Twilight that me makes me want to believe that I am reading another Stephanie Meyer.

      But it is personal views. Some loved it . Some did not. Unfortunately, I fall in the latter category. I liked the 2nd book in the series though.

      Keep coming. Your thoughts is all I am looking forward to.

      -Asha

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“I love writing. I love the swirl and swing of words as they tangle with human emotions.” ― James A. Michener

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