Quite often, I wonder if life could be any better or worse than what it is right now. Could it be any different than what it actually is? Perhaps, a little more happier. And what if it was gloomier?
When I am absorbed deep in thoughts, I find myself running back in time, in my past. And the wheels of my mindless imagination set to work all over again. Thinking. Dreaming. What would it be like, if life was like I had imagined it to be? If my nascent dreams had had a chance to grow into reality? If hopes that got shattered, were not shattered at all? If everything I ever lost, were not lost at all? Would I be happier, had the decisions that went wrong been right? What would it be like if the person I loved and longed for, had loved me back and longed for me too? What if I had not taken the steps that wronged me? What if I had trusted my instincts better?
Reflections. Thousands of them. They flood my mind. And numb me up. Freezing me in space. Frosting me with time.
And it takes a while for me to realize this. All these reflections define our lives. These reflections are proof of all the decisions we’ve have made in myriad of cases.
Right ones. Wrong ones. Happiest ones. Hurtful ones.
These reflections remind me of how weak and strong we’ve been. Of moments, we’ve have cried inconsolably. Of moments, we’ve have laughed till our stomachs hurt. Is it not true for all of us?
Reflections in life show us the path we’ve tread.
These reflections are a collection of experiences, all the things that we’ve done, and all the choices we’ve made. Like a personal mirror, showing us back what lies under the surface, who we really are.
And no one, absolutely no one knows that. Just us.
What we’ve been through and what we’ve become.
And hence, although we regret certain decisions and choices, we need to remember that we have been exceptionally courageous to face every page of the book of our lives so far which has not been all so pleasant always. And that is true for each of us. We have lived each moment, each day just like we wanted to. And no matter what, we have lived a life that only we could. In our own unique way.
Creating marks. Leaving memories.
And hence, these reflections, in a way, I feel, are good. As they will always provoke you to do good.
To do the best that you can. And be a better person gradually.