Without You

No matter where I go, everything seems incomplete without You.
It is your absence that constantly weighs my heart down.

Without You, a sadness has crept into my heart again. Without You,  a loneliness has filled my soul again. These days, I no more recognize myself just like I don’t recognize the world around me. For hours I’m in an anonymous world, thinking of you, of what I was, when I was with you. An unknown happiness had accompanied my heart.  Without You, it is gone too.

It’s strange to feel the way I do. In the past, you never existed for me and I had still lived without You. Why does it seem so difficult now when you’re not around anymore?

At work, I want to be at home. At home, I want to be at work.

Wherever I go, I feel I don’t belong there and I want to be somewhere else. But where?

There is this incessant feeling to be left alone and unwatched. I keep stealing moments when I am overwhelmed with thoughts. And all such inexplicable moments make me realize what it means to be with you, to have you by my side and I wish for the umpteenth time that you were here right with me.

I know it sounds asinine, all of it, but that’s exactly how life is without you – EMPTY. LIFELESS. DEAD. Quite often, I think that maybe, just maybe, if only I knew what future held in its palms for me, I could’ve brought  myself to accept it. These minutes. These moments. Without You.

But the question is –

Would it have mattered less?
Would it have bothered me less?
Would it have pained me less?

No, I don’t think so. It’d still be excruciatingly painful to watch you go.
To cope up with your absence. To live each minute without you.

-Asha Seth

21 thoughts on “Without You

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  1. Dear Shakil,
    Thank you so much for coming-by here. And for your most kind words of inspiration.
    I am a fan and follower of Ghalib and love the quote you shared. Means so much more when you can relate it to a practical situation in life.
    Keep coming just as I’ll keep visiting yours.

    -Asha

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    1. Thank you, and you’re welcome! My name is Sanskrit, only Buddhist, not Hindu, so it Mitra is Friend and Dharma is the Truth-Teaching, so Friend of the Dharma, or Friend of the Truth (the Transcendental, Absolute Truth.)
      Nice to meet you 🙂 I have 100s of Kalyana Mitras (Spiritual Friends) in India. Most of the men and women I work with/ Mentor/Teach are Indians, mostly centered in Maharathi, so I spend more time online in India, or at least As much as I do online in the US.
      I am planning a Pilgrimage to the Buddhist Holy Sites, and going from Sri Lanka through and around India, up to Nepal.
      Again, I just want to say what a Lovely Blog you have. 🙏 Namaskar

      Like

  2. Very good prose, especially when it was felt and thankfully not lived. I do hope you will have done enough of feeling and will never have to face such a situation.
    I must thank you for finding my blog and for following it. It sure led me to yours truly great site here. Bye and bye I hope to read more of entries here.
    For this “without you” Ghalib said: Baethe raheN tasawwure JanaN kiye huye. (Just sit around idilly with ‘you’ in the thoughts). Thats how, he tells us, to deal with this situatuon.

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  3. Greetings and Salutations Asha, 🙏

    What a Beautiful name! So many of friends are from South Asia, and some S/E Asian and Malaysian. I’ve studied Pāli and Sanskrit, and am picking up some Hindi, Marathi, and Gujarati.

    I LOVE you Swirl and Swing of your literary prose! (I had something to say, but reading this James Michener quote just “popped” it out of my mind, and now I’m relating it with this wonderful quote! I can understand why you chose it; it resonates with your writing, at least in resonates with me in regard to your prose.

    Thank you for finding “My Blog”, so that I could Discover your wonderful Blog.
    I just got through with another Video Blog, and I am really loving that format of connecting more with my spoke works, and emanating aura, or resonating vibe….

    I look forward to getting to know you and your work, or Art Work, to be more accurate.
    🙂
    Blessings of Metta and Mindfulness,

    With Dharma Love ~ Dharmamitra Jeff 🙏

    Like

    1. Dear Dharmamitra,
      Greetings to you from India.
      Thank you for stopping around here. Your name when broken stands out with two very important and powerful words – Dharma – Duty and Mitra – Friend. Both have a profound impact on human lives as per Hindu Mythology.
      We share one thing in common and that is the keenness in learning new languages. I am learning Sanskrit presently. Its ancientness and richness, both inspire me. Hindi, Marathi & Gujarati are all powerful languages and you’ll immensely love learning them.
      Appreciate your most humble words.

      Need to visit your video blog. The feel of it as you’ve described it seems good.
      Much luck to you. Keep coming.

      -Asha

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    1. So very true Horus. A lovely feeling that one is. And oh, did you just say – Dark Chocolate?? Wait I need to grab some now! 😛

      Keep coming!

      -Asha

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  4. Dear ohhoney,

    I am so delighted to see you here. And your words of course, are bucketful of motivation for me. I guess all of us go through that phase sooner or later.

    No matter how difficult things seem, time always leads us through, holding our hand, dragging us through, washing away worries and heart-aches.

    I am sure it must have been devastating, what you went through. But I am happy for you that you made it through. Be happy always.

    -Asha

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  5. I love the way you penned those emotions down so accurately.

    Indeed I have felt that way before.

    I thought that I couldn’t live on when I broke up, but we all get over it. Just a matter of time.

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  6. Very powerful there, and another great reminder about why I always come back to your blog. Very intesnse and a great picture besides make this my new favourite post of yours ever.

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    1. Hey J. It is always so refreshingly good to see you come and stop by.

      You’d made my day. And now you made my night too(It is 12:29AM here in India) with your most humble warm words.

      Like yourself, I liked the picture too. As I was telling Jamie earlier, I have written this post keeping in mind a close friend and I’ve tried to capture her emotions here in words. The girl in the picture above resembles my friend to some extent and hence I picked it(Image credit to Google).

      Glad you so approve of it. Your words are a natural fill of encouragement for me. Nothing could’ve made it any better than the fact that it features in your list of favorite posts of me. Much thanks.

      Keep coming J as will I.

      -Asha

      Like

    1. Thank you Rahul but like I was telling Jamie earlier above, I am not really good in wording emotions of heart. It took a lot of time for the right words to come. Atleast, I hope I got the right words.

      Keep coming.

      -Asha

      Like

    2. Whatever but I specially enjoyed reading it. May be it because I’m going through similar feeling at present. When i read, it actually told me what was there in my heart.
      Everyone fall in love and everyone has a love story.

      Like

  7. Ah, Asha, you have captured an experience that most of us have suffered unfortunately. Fortunately – though I hate to sound unromantic – we get over it.

    Always keep that lovely smile.

    P.S.: I too am afraid of heights. 😉

    Write on …

    Like

    1. So happy to see you around here after so long Jamie! And yes, that is the only reason why I wanted to pen this feeling down Jamie, it is a feeling relative to all. Very recently, a friend of mine has had a break up and I felt her agony as my own. I wanted to capture her feelings down in words. Such sacred, such pure emotions, and such tremendous pain. Hence the post.

      I wanted to write it down for all of us who have had such a time in life. Missing someone. Anyone. And I hope I did it some justice.

      I am not really good in wording emotions of heart. It took a lot of time for the right words to come.

      And yes, as you rightly mentioned, we get over it, it is just a matter of time.

      Getting to feel your presence here, I am sure, the smile will stay. Keep coming. 🙂

      And yes, HEIGHTS…! Good Lord! But I have your company. 😉

      -Asha

      Like

“I love writing. I love the swirl and swing of words as they tangle with human emotions.” ― James A. Michener

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