Let Go or Not?

I’ve come to believe that certain philosophies in life don’t really vouch for much. Take for instance, letting go of people you can’t imagine life without. A lover who left, a family or friend who passed away. A beloved pet that died. If you’ve loved them truly, how can you ever let them go?

True, each passing day makes you grieve more. True, each moment makes you want to pull them out of the memories. True, just a thought of the times spent with them, makes your heart bleed some more. And with time, you get accustomed to the ensuing despair.

And it’s not that you haven’t tried to get out of such times that test your courage and resolute? Such testing times that you never wanted to be a part of. You have tried. Given away every ounce of energy left, just so the times cleave off you. Yes, you have tried. Your heart knows you have.

But what does one do when even the slightest effort in that direction only brings a surge of sinking emotions, rendering you helpless. Nothing rescues you. Seclusion, prayers, meditation, introspection, self-severity, purposeful distractions, all prove in vain. It’s like a dead end.

As time flies, the pain hurts less, but you’re sore within. Each day wipes out the memories a bit more. But it’s never really gone. It’s like looking out the window through the curtains. The view is faded, obscure. But the rays come rushing in as soon as the curtain shifts.

And you tell yourself, it’s never going to be possible. You thought you did let go. You even forgave. You made peace with the past. But the truth is, it’s all lurking around the corner and jumps right at you, startling you at the feeblest reminiscences.

I feel we never learn to let go. It’s always there. Out of sight, but never out of mind. We grieve, bleed, die a little each time. So whether you let go or not, remember one thing – Remember to live, while you grow over these testing times, allow yourself to heal.

Waiting to hear your experiences on the topic. Do share them. 🙂

This post was written for the #Blogchatter prompt ‘Testing Times’.

Asha Seth

77 thoughts on “Let Go or Not?

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  1. Great post..i think that these things have no general rule..you face situations and you react accordingly, sometimes you react positively and sometimes you go into depression. But with time it becomes easy, though the amount of time is different for all. But once we cross that time zone, we enjoy our lives and also the happy memories we shared with the ones who are no more. And the length of that time zone is inversely proportional to your understanding of the world..

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  2. Very true Asha! Letting go is not in our hands….we can not. But passing through different stages of grief and dying a little every day, we get accustomed and learn to live with memories. Though it brings a permanent change within and we can never be same again.

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  3. Excellent post…. to let go is not something we do… it is something that “happens”… As you sayas time goes by, we are able to move forward, remember the good things and pain began to vanish… Time is a key factor, I guess.
    Love & best wishes.

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  4. It’s hard but acceptance helps. Though it may see that nothing makes you happy or sad just when you start accepting things like they are without labeling, but it isn’t so. Everything is just short lived, even happiness. But hey, it’s kinda cool, to not get angry at things, to not think too much about what’s going on is cool😊

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  5. This is my biggest fear, and there is a way to reduce it. It is through knowledge, of self, and also of the universe, about soul. But even aftet you have the knowledge, you will not be able to believe in it. So it is really tough, but it may help a little..
    Shreyans

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  6. remember the good times …
    know that life is a wave
    don’t wait for the tide to turn,
    be the wave
    then there is no tide
    live life
    without fear
    without hope
    love life

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  7. It takes time to recover, although I feel you never truly recover. Eventually, you move on from your situation, but you are left with damaged emotions and wounds. Wounds that may change the way you perceive people. Yes, you may be able to forgive, but you never forget the feeling so you have to learn to adapt to a new way of loving; willingly or subconsciously. Great post, Asha.

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  8. By the fact of being sentient, we experience attachment, and emotions, resulting from that attachment, and consequently loss, when life takes it’s predicted finite course…An old romantic song says : To live it’s to have memories, so we live remembering, and remembering by itself is living, so let’s keep on remembering. 🙂

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    1. True that is. Some times it’s these memories that make us face the other day filling us with the hope that something good might transpire. The good and the sad both come with their offerings. To detest the sad ones, would be impertinent and yet how we wish to leave them behind.
      Life has a lot to offer but such times of trial and tribulations make us look and consider just one side of the coin.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. it is really difficult, almost impossible to let go………..sometimes we don’t really want to……sometimes we feel guilt from the thought of letting go……..there could be any number of reason……i vaguely remember something from Bhagwat Gita that says its all God in our actions and emotions, but the suffering is our own creation, we simply need to let go…..have faith…….but of course the difficulty is the test in those testing times. Hope i am making some sense here….. 🙂 🙂

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    1. Bhagwad Gita is a pool of positivity if one really has the eye for it. What you reminded is a fact we hardly pay attention to. But in all sense, is crucial. We let go or not, the emotions attached with them are here to stay.

      Liked by 1 person

  10. when they say let go it doesnt mean you forget them instantly. you cannot forget the person because memories do haunt at times . but you can let go the situation or scenario . it is hard.it is painful , it takes time but certainly not impossible .
    practically lets say for example when someone close to us pass away , we cry , we feel an excruciating pain but then as time passes we will again lead our life . ofcourse pain will be there memories will be there but we learn to overcome the pain we learn to live life without them . even when people get separated from their partner it is as painful as death but life teaches them everything .. believe me im telling these from my experiences .

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    1. I have reasons to believe your observations albeit personal are true, Supreet. We do learn in time, to lead lives, without that significant identity around anymore. Time’s the greatest healer of all.

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  11. We often think that he we let go we will forget or dishonor the memory of a loved one. Yet that is altogether true. Our lost loved one would want us to move on and live our life to the fullest we will always have memories all too often it is the thought that we le go we are forgetting them is what holds us back from so many things.

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  12. Actually philiosophy tells that get detached from your relations.Because one day we all leave.But when we love someone we love them by forgetting this fact and think that it’s permanent and forever.So whenever sudden demise happen,we can’t take that sudden change.Even it haunts in our dreams.In this planet,every time living or non living being pass through three phases. Birth,growing,dying.soo it’s an utter truth.

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      1. It may be difficult,but not impossible,And you are attatched soo much,of course we all attach,may be that’s the reason we are even unable to think of detachment.but we have to face them.We are all like characters in a play of universe.each soul is given a certain character or role.soo if suppose some character dies in a play..we don’t cry.Because we know that Director ended that role there.similarly even in Real life we don’t know the life expectancy of each one.Soo atleast we have to try

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  13. Such a delicate and emotional topic handled so well by you Asha. With time we all let go, but never completely, because it is impossible to erase the memory of a loved one. Though we move on with life, they always dwell deep in our hearts.

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  14. It’s the grief of sudden seperation that’s extremely painful as our mind is not prepared for it.
    Time heals our pain to certain extent but memories remain forever as long as we live.
    I feel we can never let go whom we love the most…well handled Asha Di …have a nice day

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  15. I can completely relate to your post. Letting go is a very hard thing to do and like you I have come to accept that when you reflect on that “someone” the hurt is still there. At least for me, this has been my personal experience. My first marriage ended in a divorce and I reflect back and it still hurts. Even remarried with an awesome daughter, the pain is still there. I can only learn to live in this moment and do the best that I can. I try to learn from the past and move forward, but know that the past is still somewhere inside. Like you said if you really loved that person or pet…those memories are always with you and so is the loss. But, we can do our best to make new memories and love again. 🙂

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    1. I’m sorry to learn about your emotional turmoil. But I hope the water’s under the bridge now. True, loss is always there and so will be the associated feelings. In time, we only learn to stop looking at that scar that burns at mere glance.
      Pleased to have you around, Sonyo. 🙂

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  16. That’s true. Whiel one may forget the ones we hate (though we even that never truly happens) it’s almost impossible to eradicate the memories of those you love. They are always there, in some part of you. Forgotten maybe for few days, but not forever.

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    1. Hate comes only after there’s been profound love, in which case, it’s moreover impossible to forget them. Yes, the emotions dilute with time, but never totally go. What say?
      How’ve you been, Pradipta?

      Liked by 1 person

  17. I have been through a similar journey very recently and I agree that the process of moving on is very painful, depressive (as was in my case) and full of failures.
    But, I have to come to learn that complete healing is possible. It’s the point when all the memories of the past fail to affect you and you can reminisce like flipping through an album with frozen moments that you can revisit in memories but don’t relive emotionally.
    Beautifully written, Asha ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s sad to see how many hearts have been touched by it. I wish this wasn’t the case.
      Complete healing is possible only if we exert total control on ourselves, on our conscience. But we lack the courage, emotionally and physically.
      Having said that, it sure is possible if you remember to get up after that fall.
      Thank you for adding your thoughts. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

“I love writing. I love the swirl and swing of words as they tangle with human emotions.” ― James A. Michener

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